Friday, January 25, 2008

I Hope You Choke On It

"Excuse me, why does my ice cream have ice in it?"

Now if you're in a restaurant/cafe not owned by me, you could expect the usual "oh... do u want me to change it for you?" routine. But if you were in one that I own, please expect this response:

"Well, u see, ice cream has to sit and wait in a freezer till a dumb arse, like you, decides to have a banana split, and only until then does it get scooped up and served on a banana boat, melting in the heat of the cafe. So unless you want your banana swimming in 3 different flavoured creams, you should expect a bit of ice in your bloody ice cream as the bloody thing is part liquid! Now eat that shit and stop complaining cos you ain't gonna get another split after eating half of the first one."

Unless there's a big CUBE of ice in ur ice cream, don't ask me, or any service staff, a stupid question like that. No one will know how to answer that dumb question of yours and we all know u're just a bloody greedy arse hoping to get a discount out of the whole thing.

I hope u enjoyed your split and that ur arse will after all the curses we've thrown at you. Or else, choke on ur next one!

YOU STOOOOOPID IDIOT

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