Why by Yin

The reason I looked out for this book was because someone recommended it to Adi, and while I was browsing through bookstores, Adi would be searching for it. So when I came across the book, I didn't think of purchasing the book, but the summary at the back got a hold of my interest and I ended up getting it.

Reading through the book, my first thought was that the author's first few chapters seem to reflect the way I am when I'm angry. She questioned a lot of things when angry, and looking at my blog posts, especially some recent ones, it all seemed rather familiar.

Overall the book has a few good insights into counselling, but it didn't evoke as much emotions as "Tuesdays With Morrie", or even "Marley & Me". Then there were certain parts which I could just read in a flash as it started to seem repetitive, and on other parts, uninteresting to me. The book, however, did give me a bit of insight into why some people have to keep talking about their problems. Plus it made me wonder what I'd do if I found out that one of my besties decided to attempt, and end up committing, suicide.

I probably would be angry, maybe with my friend, but most likely with the person whom I felt pushed them to the point of doing so. Honestly, at this point of time, I only got 2 people on my mind who might actually end up going in that direction. Other than the initial shock of getting the news, if I even get the news, I'll most likely get angry about it, then probably get over their death and move on. I'll definitely end up missing them once in a while, and possibly wish that they were still alive at certain times.

Honestly, I don't know why I think I could get over their deaths that quickly, but maybe it's the fact that I've been through so many deaths in the family that it really is becoming part of life. In all 28+ years, I've learnt to move on through the deaths of 4 family members and 2 well-loved dogs. That's not even counting the deaths of grand aunts and uncles whom I'm not really close with, as well as my paternal grandfather and maternal great grandmother (both when I was too young to remember). Obviously there are deaths of certain people who hit you harder than others, but if the 2 people I think will most likely attempt suicide would really do so, I don't think I will be hit quite as badly as it were to be someone who I never imagined would do such a thing. I guess it's partially the because I'll be mentally prepared for it.

Now it has got me thinking - if ever the day comes when I get such news of my friends, who would I turn to? Somehow I got an idea who, but will that person still be in my life when that happens (if it were to happen)?