Sometimes I wonder what is the cause of that feeling that comes once in a while to bug the shit out of me for days on end. How is it I'm so affected by just someone's mood changing?
Somehow when your mood went downhill, I felt like shit. Why did it feel like it was my fault that you weren't all too happy with what went on today? I don't get how is it that the weight of your world decided to land on my shoulders and eat me from inside out.
Is it worth it to know people that well? To know what it is like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes?
It's not to say that empathy is all that bad. There's a time and place for everything. And when it hit me while giving a hug to Shirley at her mom's funeral, that's fine. I know how it feels to lose someone dear, and when a hug led to tears that time, it's all right. It's normal, it's expected.
However, when someone else's feelings have latched on to you, and in the end, it leads to that sickening feeling like I have something to apologise for - that I'm actually the guilty party, that I caused whatever sadness/anger you may feel - that just isn't right. Why must it be that I feel that I'm in the wrong even if I didn't do anything to harbour ill feelings? Why is it that I have to find out that it's actually not me who is angry or sad and yet I've to let it out on my side as well, so that I can feel better?
I wonder what if one day someone were to feel my weight on their shoulders. Can anyone really bear the weight?
I wonder what if one day someone were to feel my weight on their shoulders. Can anyone really bear the weight?
No comments:
Post a Comment