Rollercoaster 2017

Got to learn more about what it takes to run your own company. 

What not to do, and that sometimes its better to be a little late than jump the gun on certain issues. 

Mighty glad that I did not have to put a cent into getting this lesson. 

Learnt that even the best of friendships cannot last if one side just doesn't want to communicate. 

That an ego has blown up so big that it cannot deflate to ask for help. 

It ended with a big drama which only showed everyone how far into the honey pot your fingers were stuck. 

Made some new relationships due to the job. 

Some might just be work-related but some have already been much more sisterly. 

Glad some of them still think of me after I no longer run the cafe. 

Skilled up on reading people a little more. 

Being a little nosey and asking a bit more is better sometimes. 

The way people treat someone who serves no purpose to them tells you a lot. 

Got to share the menu with a few friends from Australia.

Happy they actually liked the coffee. 

Maybe I should just open shop in Australia. 

Attended some awesome food festivals. 

Try out food from Michelin-starred restaurants & chefs. 

Cook and experiment with interesting new products. 

Saw my niece compete in the SEA Games. 

Learnt that some people have bad sportsmanship. 

Glad my niece is above that behaviour. 

Got to go back to Hong Kong. 

I love Hong Kong Island more. 

Dong Leng Mong Cha Zhao Teem!!!

Australian Invasion part 2!

Great to have them come here instead of always heading there. 

Ate a lot of food all around Singapore. 

Had my dog choke to death right at my foot. 

Pulled out the bit of gizzard he choked on. 

Revived him with some compressions and a few breaths of air without really knowing doggy CPR. 

Back to KL again for a food trip. 

Sometimes family can be so embarrassing. 

Family did not know walking to eat till I came along. 

Full force Christmas Party with an Eurasian theme. 

Half force NYE party with Pizza, Cheese, Pasta & Chicken Wings. 

What a crazy 2017!

A Day With Family And Food

Met uncle Shane and my cousin Dwayne this afternoon at Ikea and had a quick lunch. We then dropped Dwayne off at his home before heading to Mandai Columbarium to look for where my grandaunt's ashes had been interred. The information given to us was lacking but we were lucky enough to find it quite fast as I noticed that there were numbers on the rows of resting places. We turned the corner and found 120, and Shane got out to check if it was right. Seems like there were a few people who have visited her resting place as the tiny holder for flowers was fully stuffed with a bunch of plastic flowers and had dried ones sticking out at strange angles.

After a few minutes paying our respects, we head back to the hotel to pick up Karmei and the boys for the trip to Mustafa. We managed to get into Mustafa just after 5pm and decided to have some food before shopping. Crossed over to C.M.K. 2001 Restaurant for some local food and drinks. We got a some Prata, Thosai, Murtabak and Roti John, together with a Milo Dinosaur and Bandung. I just realise the chilli for the thosai here is AWESOMELY spicy. Once filled up, we were back into Mustafa where Karmei got a few bargain buys.

Remembrance Day

On the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, Remembrance Day ceremonies are held in some countries in memory of the ones who have served in the military. About a year ago, all I remembered about all this was getting a sweet little red poppy pin in support for all who were serving in the military. I remembered Grandpa putting a cross with another poppy at Grandma's grave later on in the week. This year, I was reminded by my sister who wore Grandpa's medals proudly today at work in memory of his service in the navy. 

My First Children's Day Gift

Dad was digging through his bag of old fishing gear and he took out something and exclaimed that it was old yet was still good, before passing it to me. I just wondered why he would pass me any fishing gear when I am not the daughter that enjoys fishing. I took a look and realised that he passed me a collapsible cup, the one I received more than twenty-six years ago in school. I thought it was long gone and did not know that he had actually taken it on his fishing trips. He then put it back in his bag, silently implying that it is going with him on more fishing trips. 

Childhood Favourites 07

When mom got the pork bones for Bak Kut Teh, she also bought some ribs to make one of her globally requested dishes with no dramatic name, Pork Ribs. I think the first taste of this was during the Christmas eve party when I was 5. Well, it seems I can't really remember much of anything before that, and maybe that's when the food in my life became awesome.

Anyway, the first taste of mom's pork ribs and I couldn't get enough of it. Sadly, everyone else had the same reaction and I never got enough of it. This dish also set a benchmark for other pork ribs as they were savoury and tart, complimenting the sweetness of the pork. Plus the meat lifted off the bone easily yet I could still have a nice time chewing all the juices out of every bite. I think it's also why I dislike BBQ sauce on my ribs, it just over powers the natural flavour of the meat, so much that you don't really know what meat you're actually eating. 

 So today, I get to eat almost the whole bowl of mom's pork ribs, enough to satisfy any pork craving I have. 

 Om Nom Nom.....

Childhood Favourites 06

Ever since I got a taste of Nutella, the taste was etched into my tastebuds, my mind and my heart. Mom never bought a jar like the one in the picture, but she did let us have the single portions that came with their own plastic palette knives. All we had to do was lift the foil lid, mix the nutty chocolate paste around to make sure the oil was evenly spread, and start slathering it onto our tongues. Pure bliss!

Now it's in bottles and we're using butter knives!

Childhood Favourites 05

Today mom made another one of my childhood favorites, although she didn't use my favorite or 2nd favourite filling. My grandmother called them potato cutlets, and was the one who made the first ones that the blew my mind. They're made like bergedils, the potato balls that go great with soto ayam, but my grandmother's twist was to mix them with luncheon meat instead. The luncheon meat kind are my 2nd favourtie filling though. The one that really captured my heart was when she made them with sardine. A potato-sardine cutlet, eaten with a green chilli akin to prawn vadai - absolute heaven!

Mom made a new version with corned beef or mutton, depending on what she found in the pantry. We never had corned beef as my grandmother was a buddhist. Since my dad, grandfather and brother-in-law love their corned beef, as well as it being halal for Adi to enjoy, it was quite easy to see why mom decided to make these instead - more mouths to finish a big batch!

Childhood Favourites 04

Went to the Floating Platform at Marina Bay today for the annual River HongBao and found another favorite of mine in the food corner. Putu Piring, similar to Kueh Tutu, but there's less rice flour mixture, lots more gula melaka, and no pandan leaf to sit on. The texture also differs from the chinese version as this is more like a dense sponge cake even if it's over-steamed. The kueh tutu somehow feels like gum paste in the mouth when it's over-steamed. 

Anyway, I can't really remember when I first ate one of these, but I do remember mom getting some kueh tutu from the coffeeshop under the Tai Chung building. They were either filled with the sugared shredded coconut or peanuts, but I loved the chewy texture of the rice flour mixture and the lovely panda smell. However, once I tried a putu piring, the gula melaka just got me hooked. There are some stalls that place these on pandan leaves, and that just makes it all sooooooo good!

Childhood Favourites 03

Mom's apple pie is one of the desserts I will never say no to. It was the first apple pie I've tasted, and it has been the benchmark for other apple pies (that has only 1 come close) since then. The recipe is simple and it doesn't have any raisins or spices that mask the flavor of apples, or the buttery pastry. I think in the end, it's this simplicity that has won over a few friends and family as well, making this a yearly treat for everyone that comes to our Christmas eve party.

Childhood Favourites 02

Another one of my favorites is curry chicken, the kind made with coconut milk. My mom says it's because I probably loved the one my grandmother used to make. I think it might also be due to coconut milk, because I do love my mom's curry chicken, but I'd love it more with coconut milk!

This one is packed from Ikea, and tucking into it after midnight after bringing a load of stuff back. Strangely enough, the local dishes at Ikea are really nice,  and sometimes (in this case), better than the Swedish fare. They've even improved thier menu by adding options to add achar and papadums to your order. Well, I'd be happy with the curry just poured over noodles.

Bliss!

Childhood Favourites 01

One dessert that falls in the list of childhood favorites is Cendol. I'm not sure if my first taste was from Johor on the way to someone's kampung or Sepang, or the corner drink stall at Margaret Drive Food Centre. Wherever my first taste of Cendol was from, the taste of the dessert never left my mind, and definitely stuck as I love stuff with coconut milk and gula melaka.

Today's bowl was from the Malaysia Boleh foodcourt at Jurong Point.  Although it was a little too sweet for me, I really loved the fact that the coconut milk was slightly salted and bumped up the flavours. The green cendol bits and huge red bea s were also nice and soft.

Satisfied tummy.

Someone Like You

"I heard that you've settled down, that you've found a girl and you're married now...."

That line alone from the song reminds me of you but it's never good when I get reminded of all the good times we still could have had if you were just honest. Still don't understand what went on in that head of yours, to decide to lie about her and what eventually would take place, but I think you were in your own fantasy world. Seriously, the memory of the stories you came up with - my life being in danger, having 2 passports, going on top secret missions - just goes to show how much of a nut case you became trying to keep things secret.

"You lost the love I loved the most"
"It took so long just to feel alright...'cos you broke all your promises"

Guess it was only hard at first because I still loved you as one of my best friends, but as time went by, I stopped missing you and started missing the things we did. I still miss the times just having someone to call and chat when I was down, who would meet me at the Palm and just laugh the night away under the stars without a care in the world what time it was. It still hurts whenever I drive past that spot.

"Nevermind I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you, too"

I know I'll never find someone like you, and I don't think I really would want to find another nut case like you. But someone to share that same kind of lighthearted, easygoing fun we had..... That I would love to find again.

I think I'm at the point I'm ready to meet you face to face and thank you for opening my eyes, and for making me much more wary of people like you.

I wish you well and hope you have a good life in whichever path you take.

Day 15 - The Person You Miss The Most

Well, the one I miss the most really isn't a person, but is actually my first dog Daisy. She was brought into the family in 1989, just few months shy of a being a year old, and quickly wormed her way into our hearts. She was so small that she could fit right on my dad's hand, and would sleep right behind me every night to keep warm. It's amazing I never squashed her in my sleep, but I guess she was quick to move out of the way when I had to move.

She grew up to learn a few little tricks, one of which was stealing food. She was stealth and smart. 2 qualities that helped her steal water chestnuts right from under where my dad was peeling them, bak kwa from the plate where my dad would leave them to cool, and almost got to a whole packet of chicken rice but her plan was foiled when the cover of the container popped and caused the plastic bag to rustle.

She also grew up learning never to mess with my mom's endless balls of crochet wool, and in return, claim one of mom's special patchwork blankets as her own.

In her later years, even with her eyes failing her, her nose still helped her navigate through the house, and would be able to sit patiently next to you for one of the chocolate Hello Panda snacks no matter how quietly you opened the pack.

We wondered how long she would live, and then came the night when everyone was home, she howled like she was in pain, and after everyone gave her a bit of attention, she passed away.

R.I.P. Daisy 

7 Dec 1988 - 25 Oct 2003

Day 2 - Your Crush

I could say I had one in every school I went to except for the part-time course. Guess it's good that it didn't continue to every workplace I went to as well.

Thinking back to all of them, I couldn't think of anything similar between any of them except that they had dimples.

Apparently dad had dimples as well, and maybe it's something about "looking for something similar to the first man in your life" thing.

So if you have a cheeky smile that causes dimples to appear, don't be surprised if I happen to start getting interested in you just a little bit more. :P

Worn Out

Funny how things reveal themselves when u can't figure the problem out in your head. For me, it was listening to a song to make me realise why the hell I've been so down and out the past week. At first I thought it was shouldering the burden of other people's problems as I felt like I didn't want, and couldn't listen, to anyone anymore. Even after I griped about it, I didn't feel better and something was still irritating me from within. Then listen to a song and everything floods your mind, telling you what's wrong. Reminders of the past pull you back in time, sometimes good, sometimes bad, and in my case, bittersweet.

One song I haven't heard in a long time, one of the songs I was listening to all the time when the situation got bad. Then it was another song that made me realise what is it about this person that is irritating me. And of all the things I didn't expect, I realised I actually missed the good times. I actually MISS the good old days I had - yapping about life on the Palm, watching countless movies, drinking the night away watching people dance weird, walking without care in the pouring rain - stupid, silly, wastes of time that gave my life a big jolt of fun. Fun which I miss a whole lot. Fun no one else has been able to replace.... YET!

I thought I'd be sad, that I miss the person. But no. I don't miss the person, I miss the fun. I'm angry with the person, for all the bullshit and disrespect. I'm glad that you're out of my life just because you won't be able to cause more shit. But I hate that you decided to end a good friendship when it wouldn't have mattered whichever way she entered the picture. But it was your own stupidity that flushed it down the drain and ur stupidity that made the final cut when it was still hanging by a thread.

Now after realising what the problem was, I know where to go. I might even take this advice that came out in yesterday's IS magazine.

""What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn't have any doubt," wrote columnist Hal Boyle. "It is sure to get to where it is going, and it doesn't want to go anywhere else." Your assignment for the rest of 2008, Libra, is to do whatever's necessary to make yourself fit this description. The nest eight months will provide unprecedented opportunities to turn yourself into a river flowing toward your destiny with surprisingly sublime freedom." - freewill astrology, Rob Brezsny

I shall be the river and take where my life leads me (and I see a lot of travelling involved).

Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

Was looking at some blogs to pass the time, and in the end, the blogs made me hungry. So here I was trying to sleep while my stomach is rumbling and somehow the thought about the food I ate in school came up.

The one dish in Primary school I clearly remembered was sold by the chubby old lady in the 2nd stall from the right. She would have all the different fried items like hotdogs, fishcakes, chicken nuggets or fried eggs that you could have in your Nasi Lemak. The other choice she had was the fried rice, which wasn't fried at all but was rather just the coconut rice mixed with slivers of fishcake and omelette. That somehow became my favourite tuckshop order, with either a whole piece of fishcake (50 cents!!) or a fried egg to top it off. The eggs were always fried with the outer rim all crispy while the yolk was left runny. Best thing to do? Break the yolk over you rice and mix it in... ooohhh HEAVEN! Not forgetting her sambal which made that piece of fishcake into a delightful snack before or after ECAs.

Then came the thought about the first dish I ever had in Primary school which was from the noodle stall right next to the old lady's. This was run by a younger lady with, who most probably was, her daughter. She sold simple bowls of noodles with slices of pork, fishcakes and fishballs. Somehow I can't remember if there was any prawn in it but it tasted like prawn noodle stock. The whole memory was of me enjoying my bowl of noodles, while my parents stood infront of me talking to my form teacher, confirming that I was taking Mandarin as a 2nd language rather than Malay. Well, over the next 5 years, I learnt that there were a lot of things you could say to make a simple bowl of noodles change into a great big feast-in-a-bowl, and that the chilli always makes a difference.

The thoughts went back to the fishcake snack and then I recalled the fried carrot cake, the type that came in squares, you'd eat with sweet black soy sauce & chilli. This snack was sold by the drinks stall, the very 1st one on the left, or as most of us know, Uncle Ho's stall! Uncle Ho & his wife were a cute elderly couple who were sweet and patient, and also adapted to new things quite fast. During the 6 years there, the drinks change from cardboard packets to canned, and some used to be scooped out like they do with soya milk & chin chow drinks until F&N introduced them to dispensers. At one point, they allowed us to step in and do our own mixing of drinks, or the "Chumchum", which they learnt, was a mix of all the different things they can dispense. Back to the carrot cake. That square little piece became another favourite snack of mine as it had a nice amount of pepper in it. If you were to ask me now I would probably say it needs more pepper, but back then when I wasn't that much of a pepper maniac, it just made my senses tingle.

Finally the long thought went to this one other stall my sis talked about before, the Malay stall. I honestly have no memory of that stall as I probably ate there only once or twice in all of the 6 years. Not that I don't like their choice of food, but more like the fact that they always sold out or weren't open. The only thing I know is that they were the 2nd stall from the left.

I'm hungry!

Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

A rather hard book to finish due to the fact that it brought on so much pondering and thought, as well as emotions.

Just cos of this book I've been wondering

1. about death.
2. about the people in my life who have passed on.
3. if my living grandfather actually desires someone to just talk and listen to.
4. about regrets.
5. about letting go.
6. about the people I have left.

Why did I think about death? The book was basically about the death of an old man and how he dealt with it. Thing is, not everyone has that opportunity to know how long more u have before u kick the bucket. Some people just go and u get the shocking news while u're going about ur daily life. But if we did have the opportunity to know when we're going to die, would we treasure it and squeeze every second of it to enjoy what and who we have or will we just whine and wish to die faster? Another thing is, if someone died, would we ever regret the things we said to them? Or would u be happy that the relationship ended on a really good note the last time u saw the person? Would you be remembered? So here's to making myself happy, keeping myself happy, and having happy goodbyes to the people I'm parting ways with, and having a good time with them before that. Might be morbid, but if I happen to die, at least I died with a happy heart. :)

Just got me remembering the ones close to me that have passed on.

• A schoolmate, my sister's classmate, Florence. Cute, adorable, chubby, cheery Florance. I make fun that my sis killed her by breaking her heart, but it still pains me no matter what to have such a young life taken away from the world who would have loved her. Maybe it was better for her, with her weak heart, to go before she had it broken. She was the first death and it shocked me. I doubt she knew it was her last day, and had my sister knew, she would have apologised for being that harsh while trying to look out for Florence's welfare.
  
• 4 years later, I learnt what horrible, blood-curdling shrieks felt and sounded like. It's not someone getting murdered infront of me but rather a rabbit I bought. We took it out to give it some grass for a minute and the next thing I know is that the rabbit is dead. Killed by my grandmother's cat, just it's natural animal instinct. The problem with the death is that the rabbit didn't die instantly and it was gasping for air. Not a very nice sight. But it was too late to save the poor thing and my grandmother managed to put it out of it's misery. I guessed I've erased that bit from my memory as I can't remember if she suffocated it or broke it's neck. I'm hoping it's the latter, being quick.
  
• That same year, while getting ready for school, we got a phone call and learnt that my uncle, Jeffery, died in a car accident. My sis and I went to school anyway but were picked up from school & brought to the void deck where they held the funeral wake. I can't remember the last thing I said to him but I do remember the last thing he asked me to do was squeeze his hand. He was testing how strong my arms were. I didn't cry over his death like my mom, aunts and uncles were. Not the very first time I saw the casket being brought in, nor the first time I saw him lying in the coffin, oddly, smiling. I cried on the 3rd day, when it was a competition day for me. I gave up the competition, I guess I stopped pushing myself towards the competition and finally just let go. Maybe it was also shock.
• Two years later, although I didn't know the boy, I saw him get knocked by a car. The force of the accident caused him to fly into the air and do a summersault. I guessed he probably died. It doesn't bother me if he died, I guess, cos of the fact that I didn't know him. But it was a first hand view of what happens when a person is hit by a car. Guess it sparked my interest into gore.
  
• 2nd year of college saw the passing of my grandmother, Patricia, after a week in hospital, in a coma after a stroke and complcations from goodness knows what. I don't want to bother with what killed her, she's dead. The week, which coincided with my exam week, saw me studying in the lounge, taking turns with family members to visit her once in a while. With the loss of her body functions, she would soil herself unknowingly and they would spray this air freshener to hide the smell. This got to me in the end as I totally disliked that smell when someone used, so much so I wanted to throw the whole can away. The last thing I got her? A bowl of salad without a dressing. Do I regret that? Yes and no on the dressing. She was on a restricted diet and wanted a fruit or salad. So I got her a salad and since they only had mayo-based dressing I didn't get any. But as she ate it, she told me "This would be better with a little bit of lemon juice or vinegar." How stupid of me not to think that she could have that for dressing. Do I regret that? I honestly can't tell. She died on the eve of the day I planned to go to Tioman. I slept through the boat ride there, didn't have fun the 2 days there, and just had too much thoughts in the boat ride back. I only broke down on the very last day, when we were following behind the casket.
  
• Next was my uncle, Leonard, my dad's bro. He wasn't very close but I liked him just as much. He was a big jolly guy with a good appetite for good food. One of the people who inspire me, who I sometimes aspire to be career-wise. Thinking now, I can sometimes be a little like him when it comes to keeping to myself, but he was much more quiet than me, or maybe my parents are proud to tell the world about my sis and I. Only until weeks before his death did my family find out that his daughter actually got married and already had a daughter, who by then was 7. Then one night while wondering how he was, we get a call and we made our way to his home. He was layed on his bed, wrapped in a white cloth facing the east. He was given Muslim rights. They showed my dad his face and all I saw was my late grandfather, whom I only remember from photos. That fact even my dad and cousin Andy agreed on. He passed away because of a brain tumour. The thing I didn't like most was the way they treated my dad just because he wasn't Muslim. That aside, I rather miss him, although I would've liked to get to know him better. But because I didn't know him that well, I guess I didn't really cry. I was sad, but I didn't cry. I thought then my waterworks were immune to family deaths.
• That was until my first dog, Daisy, died. Felt like your own family died. None of us absorbed the fact till she was sent to be cremated. I cried the next day on my way to work. The cab driver must have thought that I was a nutcase. Fine one minute and crying like my family died the next. If he knew he might have brought me home instead of to work. But I got out, went to work and cried the whole of my break time. I was sobbing, tears running down my cheeks, just standing at the doorway staring into the sky, into empty space. I just became numb that day and the week after. She's still the one that bring tears to my eyes when a certain song comes on and the memory of her is brought up. Can't even talk about her with tears not welling up in our eyes. Thing is, there's nothing to regret. I'm happy she died in her sleep. But I guess it's the loss of companionship, the memories, the odd things she did that made us laugh/smile/love her so much that make us mourn her longer. Even with another dog, or actually two, they can't replace that loss. I dread the day I lose my next 2.
• The last funeral wake of a relative was for my grandaunt, Violet, my grandmother's 2nd sister. In between were the funerals for some of my grandmother's brothers. We weren't really close to her. In fact, we thought she was a lil loopy. But she was nice as a person, giving and sweet. She died in her sleep when her god-son, my uncle, was visiting from Perth. The whole time I guess he was running away from the wake and we were also spending time with him to help him not think too much about it. Finally on the last day, I tried not to cry, but when all the drama from my 1st grandaunt started, everyone just cried. Guess it's that memory of the pain that comes with losing someone u cared for and loved came flooding back to sympathise with my 1st grandaunt, more than to mourn the loss of my grandaunt Violet.
  
• In between there were the odd hamsters that died. Never cried, but I felt sad. They didn't live long enough to touch the heart. But now there's one that's on the edge and he's not letting go just yet. I just hope he dies in his sleep.
  

My grandfather,Leng Huat, before his stroke, was a man who had many wise sayings, wisecracks and the average amount of grandfather stories about the person he was talking to. Then came the shocking news that he had a stroke the day after my birthday party. Just the night before he had been laughing and drinking beer, enjoying memories with my dad and uncles. With the lack of functions in his jaw, among other parts of his body, he stopped telling stories for a while. Or maybe it was just that my grandmother would tell him what he wanted to know. Then when my grandmother passed on, he started asking about us, telling us jokes when he saw us whenever we were there for a visit/party. The grandfather I knew was back, minus the health. This went on for a while until just recently when he seemed to have deteriorated somehow. Like he lost his spirit, his will to live. Like he can't be bothered with himself and what the people around him think of him. He looks like he has a lot to ask, a lot to say. But it looks like he doesn't know where to start, or how to start. I don't know where or how to start either. I just wonder if he actually recognises us at all at the moment or has old age, the stroke, the lost of memory and senses taken over. If he has anything to tell/ask us. Something in which us young dumb ones won't find out till we reach his age, or will never find out before we die ourselves? Or just a joke I've never heard before? Would I regret not knowing if I didn't find out? I know, at least, what he wants done with his ashes.

"I want my ashes to be scattered into the sea..... so my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren can grow fat on the fish that feed on it."

Do I regret doing or not doing anything in my past? Yes I have but then I have to let it all go. It's all in the PAST and I guess it should be left there. If I changed what I did, I wouldn't have met the people I know today and I might actually have ended up in a mental institute. What I guess I feel was that I would have liked to have known some people better before they left.

1. My Grandfather, Anthony
2. My Uncle, Leonard

So now all I can do is find out about them from people I don't know much about either.

1. My Grandmother, Joan
2. My Cousins, Effandy & Anita
3. My Aunt, Iza

As well as get to know them and hopefully keep closely in touch. And there's a few more people I would still have to work on

1. My Grandfather, Wilfred
2. My Friends

I hope I don't take too much of ur time or attention that others might be offended.